The Official Cynic Test

The Official Cynic’s Self-Test

How many of the following 15 statements do you agree with?

1. You’re overworked, unemployed, underemployed or underpaid.

2. You’re a lonely thinker stuck among semi-literates and/or MBAs.

3. You’ve finally discovered that society doesn’t reward people like you.

4. You’ve discovered that the people who do get the rewards tend to be jerks.

5. You’d like to see the majority of our celebrities exiled to Uzbekistan.

6. You cringe slightly when you hear people talk about “team players.”

7. Politically correct zealots make you laugh (or cry).

8. You’re sick of hearing that everything you eat, think or do causes heart disease.

9. You’ve had it with millionaire ballplayers who grumble about their salaries.

10. You’re inclined to believe that “personal growth” is some kind of tumor.

11. You’re disillusioned, disenchanted and/or just plain disgusted.

12. You find yourself wishing you lived in a different era, like the Neolithic.

13. You think civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.

14. You no longer CARE that civilization is going to hell in a pooper-scooper.

15. You wish you could find some decent curmudgeons who feel the way you do.

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